I stop what seems will be the last birth control pill I will ever take in my life and have a sense of excitement for a lot more ‘lasts’ I hope to encounter in the upcoming weeks.

This morning, I went in for my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork. Conceptions Reproduction offers Outside Monitoring for people who use a different clinic but need labs and monitoring done, so for a little extra fee, I can do these appointments from the comforts of my own town and not have to board an airplane to go to my clinic in Atlanta.

Everything at the appointment seemed to move along smoothly so I had no reason to fret about the outcome of today’s starting point.

“Shady Grove Fertility” pops up on my phone a few hours later and it’s Nurse Emily.

Always great to hear her cheery voice on the other end of the line.

She shares that although my bloodwork looks great, my lining is too thick to begin any medication.

I have never heard those words come out of a medical provider’s mouth.

“TOO THICK” I laugh. Usually I am too thin because I don’t typically have hormones in my system.

It seems to be 8mm and they are hoping to have it around 4mm before starting the estrogen pills.

It makes sense though, my bleed after the IVF egg retrieval a few weeks back was very light in comparison to past times so I’m not too surprised.

Fear overtakes me though. Will this mean the days are going to be pushed? Do we have to cancel this cycle and start all over? I begin to panic.

Thankfully, she calms my fears with a simple, “we are going to check again in 2 days and start from there, nothing will change at this point.”

Ahh, a sigh of relief.

I will just return in two days for an additional ultrasound. Easy enough.

This morning, I went in for the second baseline ultrasound and it was quick, easy, and painless. Exactly how I like it.

I did ask the technician what my lining was and she said she didn’t know. Okay, come on lady, your job is to determine what the lining is, how do you not know? Nothing bugs me worst then someone who lies plainly to my face. She could have just said, “’m not able to share that with you since your doctor will read the results”.

One ding against Conceptions.

Hoping my lining has decreased down to 4mm, I go on with my day and wait for the call from Nurse Emily.

It hasn’t been the smoothest of days.

I will admit the waiting game does play on me. Not to mention, I’m in a very uncomfortable stage of personal growth and I am having my period. Not really the best time for me to be on top of my game.

I tell Hubby that I’m not at my best right now and that I’m on edge, irritable, and have low tolerance. He asks what he can do and the honest answer is that I really don’t know.

I don’t think it’s anything he can do, I think this is really an inside job.

Knowing that even the call from Nurse Emily won’t ‘fix’ my attitude. I can’t pretend to believe that these external factors make a difference in my behaviors.

Getting outside for a walk and some fresh, Nurse Emily calls and shares that my lining is 4mm and looking beautiful.

I’m ready to begin the Estrace (estrogen), 3 times a day for the next twelve days.

Done, I can do that!

So now, we pray that my lining builds back up to 8mm over these next two weeks, preparing a nice home for the little embryo to nestle into.

God, prepare my body, prepare the lining for the little embryo.

I trust you, God. I have to.