Is it in there?

I can’t tell and I am worried that it fell out or that my body pushed it out.

That little life that is so precious and perfect, are you inside of me?

I pray that it has become nice and comfy inside, nestled in to its new home and continuing to grow and multiply and divide so beautifully.

I won’t be sure and the two-week wait is real.

With IVF, I will be able to do a blood test 10-12 days after the transfer.

No one is counting though 😉

I can’t believe how long a day feels when we are waiting for such life-changing news.

Even then, the blood test is only one part of it.

We will then have a 2^nd blood test to see if the numbers are going up (which means my body is sustaining the pregnancy).

From there we will have another two week wait until we can go in for the 6-week ultrasound which is earlier than non-IVF pregnancies, but helpful with such a sensitive process.

After that, if all is still looking good, then I will return for the 8-week ultrasound and that is where we can hear the heartbeat and begin treatment from our normal Midwife or OBGYN.

So, the journey is still long, considering we have been on this for 6-7 months already.

I thought I would be more prepared for this waiting period. Believing that I would have more faith and I would not be so consumed with thoughts of the unknown.

But I’m not above any of the human tendencies to think, over-think, obsess, wonder, worry.

Instead, I am changing my thinking around.

If my fear is the disappointment that comes with a negative pregnancy test, or the pain of a miscarriage then I can either worry about it happening… or I can believe that I have a living being inside of me and relish every moment I get to have with this little one.

I am talking to Bebe (we haven’t come up with a nickname for it yet), and praying over my womb as though it’s in there- being knit together inside of me.

I want to believe in the good and miracle of life that God gives.

I want to believe in the ability to surpass data and numbers and ratios and statistics and shine like the human God has created each of us to be.

I am never more in awe of the fragility and precious nature of life than I am when I am in these moments of complete faith.

There is nothing I can eat, drink, move, not move, or do to make this little one come to be in this world.

This is the time when I praise God for the gift of life that only He can give and also believe that He has great plans for me and our family, including the outcome.

So, yes, I wait. I would be lying if I said I am not excited to hear the news seven days from now… but I can’t just sleep for the next seven days either. I get to live in this place of knowing that I saw a little embryo go into my body and know that it’s in there.

It’s my choice how I want to walk through these next seven days, and for this moment, I am choosing to believe that I am carrying life- our 2^nd child.

I found this to be interesting information for what is happening inside of me. I guess I have a few more days to wait before taking a home pregnancy test. Currently, we are finishing Day 4. No wonder if have felt weird achy feelings today in my lower abdomen.

Here’s what happens to the Day 5 embryos (blastocysts) after their transfer is complete.

• Day 1 – After the embryos are transferred, the cells keep dividing. The blastocyst begins to emerge from its shell and this process is called hatching.
• Day 2 – The second day is crucial because this is the time when the embryo begins to attach itself to the uterine lining. The blastocyst continues to grow.
• Day 3 – On this day, the blastocyst invades into the uterine lining and implantation begins. The woman may have light bleeding and spotting on this day
• Day 4 – On the fourth day, the blastocyst continues to dig deeper into the uterus Light bleeding and spotting may continue on this day as the embryo invades the endometrial blood vessels to nourish itself through the maternal blood supply. However, the absence of any bleeding, cramping, and spotting does not mean that implantation has not occurred so don’t let your mind play games with you.
• Day 5 – On the fifth day, implantation is considered complete. The embryo is developing vigorously.
• Day 6 – The growing embryo triggers the release of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) into the bloodstream. This is a hormone that is produced by the syncytiotrophoblast, the specialized cells which will form the placenta later on.
• Day 7 – The fetal development is in full swing and the embryo continues to develop quickly. As the placenta begins to take shape, it continues to release more hCG into the bloodstream
• Day 8 – More hCG is released into the blood, as fetal development continues and the placenta begins to function.
• Day 9 – By this time, the levels of the hormone hCG, are high enough in the bloodstream to be detected. You may take a home pregnancy test today. If the test is negative, it could still be a false negative. Wait for another two days and take the test again. The blood test for beta HCG is much more reliable and is usually done about 10 -12 days after blastocyst transfer.