Leaving the Comfortable for a Shot at the Dream

imgresFor the past three years, I have had the pleasure of working for a school that not only strives to educate each student, but also equip the next generation to serve others.

Mullen High School‘s motto being, “Enter to Learn, Leave to Serve” penetrates the hallways as students are encouraged to do selfless acts while growing in their academic pursuits. A bit refreshing with the way it seems the younger generations tend to be more ‘navel gazers’ or ‘screen watchers’, lacking the ability to hold interpersonal conversations and patiently enjoy dinner out with the family without being on an iPad or smart phone.

I was hired at Mullen the week before the 2013-14 school year began and little did I know it would be the very opportunity to change my perspective on high school education.

Mullen is a private Lasallian Catholic school, run by a imgresPresident & Board and Principal, and is a part of a larger district of schools across the US. The Lasallian approach towards education adheres to the 5 Core Principles, a well-rounded approach for students to learn and grow as was given by the founder Saint John Baptist de La Salle.

Beyond the Lasallian experience, working for Mullen has helped restore my thoughts of today’s school system as each teacher and administrator truly cares for the good of each student.Each educator is committed to growing the students and becoming better themselves. As technology progresses, Mullen encourages and emphasizes the importance of growth within the educators to use technology to reach their students while teaching them the appropriate use of technology. It is known as a 1-to-1 school using the iPad as the main resource and tool during learning. Students learn technology as a tool rather than a toy.

The students I have been working with over these past three years have been absolutely wonderful. Their respect for the educators and the Lasallian heritage is incredible to see as each student truly appreciates the opportunities afforded to them by attending Mullen. Students have the opportunity to grow academically, personally and also spiritually as there are retreats for each level. The most unique is the KAIROs experience for Juniors. I had the privilege of attending two while at Mullen and both were life-changing experiences. LT4!

Walking alongside each of the students has enabled me to live many lives as each bring me through their current life challenges and triumphs. Needless to say, I’ve developed special relationships with many of them… and I will sincerely miss seeing them each day.

It was a joy to serve as a counselor and volleyball coach for the Mullen students. Over the past few months, it has become clear to me that it is time for me to move on from serving as counselor at Mullen. As my desire to grow our family increases as well as my aspiration to pursue my personal dreams of owning and running my own company, it is time for me to say good-bye to Mullen as my ‘work home’. It is my hope to continue supporting Mullen in the stands as I believe in the Lasallian education and the work Mullen is doing in the community.

As I walk down this new path, with new personal and professional goals in sight, I pray for the continued mission of Mullen. I have my own fears of what lies ahead and all the unknowns that will be revealed in due time.

For today, I reflect with gratitude on my experience at Mullen: the friends I’ve made and the personal & professional learning opportunities I can take with me. I will continue to ask God for guidance for my next steps into this new adventure of my life, trusting in the journey for what lies ahead.

Live Jesus in our Hearts, Forever!

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Last Pill For a While

10 days of Progesterone and I feel like I have been experiencing constant PMS. Edgy, irritated, sensitive, emotional, tired and pretty much ‘over it’. I took my last Progesterone pill last night and will wait to see if I get a withdrawal bleed. All this in hopes that my brain will get the jump start it needs to start talking to my ovaries to create regular periods. Best case, I have a few days of bleeding which may trigger my body to get into motion. Worst case, I don’t have any bleeding and remain as I am. This is the third time I’ve been on Progesterone this year and am trying to remain hopeful, but it’s hard.

I am used to getting let down in this area of my life. For the past 17 years, I have been on medications to help ‘figure my system out’ and there are still no answers. Maybe there will never be a specific diagnosis or cause for my body to not produce a period. Although I have multiple Cysts in my ovaries, some doctors would rule our PCOS because I didn’t get a withdrawal bleed. Others would ask for me to go onto Metformin before that diagnose can be ruled out.

Either way, can I accept that I may never fully know the answer to why? Am I able to find peace without an answer?

I’m working towards that. Simply because sometimes in life, there isn’t an answer.

Our next steps would be to go to a Reproductive Specialist or Fertility doctor. I’m not opposed to that next phase, but I do feel, at this point,  like pausing the doctors visits and instead focusing on simply living into my life as much as I’m able to this fall. There are a lot of changes in both my and my husbands life. He just changed companies of employment and I continue to build my business and feel it’s good to invest my time, energy and focus into this area of my life before we ‘work’ to have a baby.

Of course we will continue to ‘try’ (I mean, I love my hubby and he’s pretty irresistible) and I may experiment with the basal thermometer again, but as for trying new medications, not right now.

Practicing a state of contentment and peaceful serenity as I enjoy each moment of today. This is the day I have been given, this is the body I have been given, this is the husband, the job, the home, the family, the season. What a gift it is to reflect on the things I do have, versus the things I don’t. It doesn’t take away the desire, but it helps me to see things as they are and allows me to move into a space of acceptance of my life, on life terms.

As I have been writing over the past few months, I have recognized that I’m not alone. There are many women who desire a baby and for one reason or another is not able to experience becoming pregnant (yet). To the single women who desire to meet their husband, to the married ladies who want to have a baby or who miss the single life, to the mothers who want another child or who miss their life without responsibility to a child…. There are always things we want to change about our current circumstances and the best thing we can do is encourage each other in the season we are in, at this moment.

So, I am grateful to be married to the love of my life and growing Kineo Life, my Life Purpose Coaching business. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to coach other women who are going through similar heartaches.

I will continue to blog on my life and give updates on where I am with this process. We desire very much to grow our family and recognize that sometimes we have to let go before we can receive.