I can’t really taste the actual medicine of Clomid, it’s more the physical reaction my body has to the small white pill.

Day 5- Starting Clomid.

In hopeful anticipation, I am curious with what the Clomid will do. My doctor wants this first month to be an ‘experiment’ to see how my body reacts to the Clomid. I’m confident I will have plenty of eggs to choose from given my diagnosis of PCOS and the fact that I have ovulated by myself in the past.

Day 6-10 ICK!

Ok, this has not been the most fun week. I feel sick to my stomach each morning and have been experiencing diarrhea type symptoms (sorry, I know that’s gross). I will plan better for next time around to keep my days/nights very low key as my body does feel this medication surging through my system. I remain hopeful that this is producing little eggs to drop in a few days!

In anticipation of what might be, I am extremely excited to have twins. I don’t know what the allure is for me, maybe the ‘one and done’ idea, even though we may have more than 2. Possibly the joys of being able to have two little ones grow up together in the same stage. I always wanted to BE a twin so second best would be to HAVE twins.

Thought I would share some of my thoughts:

I cant get the thought out of my head. this is not a good thing as I tend to obsess on certain things that stick in there.

I really like the idea of having twins.

Takes the pressure off having to go through all this again. I’m not sure if Ill like pregnancy but at least twins means I wouldn’t have to do it again and we would have 2 children (we want 1-2 of our own and then adopt 1-2).

What if I don’t have twins though. Will I be upset and disappointed with just one? I know the right answer is to be grateful for ANY baby at this point.

Is it selfish of me to now want twins? Now that the doctor has opened up the (10% chance of twins), I’m all about it.

Going from not sure if we can have our own kids to possibly having twins is a gift and blessing and I don’t want to become too entitled.

I want to remain open to whatever God has in store for us and for me to take my agenda out of the mix.

The key is for me to own up to my thoughts, recognize they are a bit crazy at times, turn my focus to gratitude for all that I’m able to experience and trust that God has my story written… no matter how many babies I’m able to bear.