Author: Hilary

The Waiting Game…

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And now we wait.

The question now is posed, when do we take a pregnancy test?

The majority of experts posting online will say to wait and take a pregnancy test once you’ve missed your period. Testing too early can produce a false positive or false negative and so to be cautious, it’s best to wait.

But what if I don’t get a period? When am I to test?

Thinking of the regular person, a period would occur on day 29 or 30, so if I calculate this out, that would mean I need to wait 2 weeks from the day of ovulation. Grateful that I know at least that much of my calendar cycle!

So what do we do while we wait?

Being interested in this whole baby-making process, we decided to watch the 3-part documentary on what happens in the 9 months of making a baby.

9 Months That Made You – PBS

Wow- how very interesting to learn what is developing within each stage of the baby-making process. This documentary not only provides information on the science and biology behind the forming of a baby but also interviews people who have had abnormalities during various stages in utero and how it’s affected them.

Examples of such abnormalities and personality developments include:

  • being born without bones
  • lack of skin pigmentation
  • 6 fingers
  • formation of the face and cleft lips
  • colorblind
  • epigenetics
  • life stress
  • risk taking personality

Learning more about the creation of growth of a baby in utero affirms how amazing God is to create such a process. Our bodies are able to do so much and the creation of life from an egg and sperm is at the top of the list.

We try to carry on as though we aren’t waiting to know if we are pregnant, but the want and desire are so strong that it can become a hinderance to our interactions. Today, I’m on edge for no reason I can really pinpoint. I want to blame it on hormones but I don’t know that for sure.

The closest thing I can chalk it up to is the emotions that come with the unfamiliar, the uncomfortable. How many times do I write about this? Reminds me of the blog post I wrote a little bit ago about the living in and enjoying the discomfort of the moment (click here).

Must be another opportunity to trust in Gods timing, Gods plan and believing that today, a lazy Sunday, is exactly where I am supposed to be and that I’m not supposed to know if we are pregnant today. Knowing we are pregnant or not pregnant will not add substance to this day.

Today, I rest.

Trigger Shot

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Day 15
In hopeful anticipation, we go in for another ultrasound to see what’s going on. The technician entertains our questions about follicles and eggs. I will admit I don’t remember much from the reproduction section of my health class over 20 years ago so it was insightful to learn more about what’s going on inside my body.

I do remember that each female is born with all the eggs they will have in their lifetime. So I was unsure of what role a follicle plays.

Apparently, follicles grow inside the ovary and house 1 egg each. They are to grow to be over 18cm before they break and the egg is released into the fallopian tube which is ovulation. Typically only one follicle will ‘break’ and the remaining will die away, with the egg never to be used again.

Some follicles won’t have an egg inside and there is no way of knowing one way or the other if someone doesn’t become pregnant.

In the case of using Clomid, multiple follicles can grow over 18cm and break and release eggs, which is why the possibility of multiple births increases.

On my ultrasound, there was the 1 follicle outside of my ovary (which the doctor is not concerned about. Apparently, many women have these ‘hanging’ follicles). In addition were 2 nice sized follicles measuring 18cm and 22cm. Wahoo!

The doctor is happy with what the ultrasound reveals so he orders a trigger shot to be given to force ovulation.

What is an HCG Trigger Shot? It is an injection of a medication called HCG, which causes the eggs to complete the maturation process.

Some people don’t produce the HCG that will induce an ovulation, which is why the Trigger Shot is so helpful. The technician told me that HCG is the same hormone that is released when one becomes pregnant and that HCG is the hormone that pregnancy tests detect, fascinating!

At 3 pm I was stuck with the needle, little did I know this would be injected in the cheek of my bottom, ouch!

We left with specific instructions: Be together 24 & 48 hours after the shot and let nature take its course… so that’s what we will do.

I won’t lie though, I find myself wanting to help nature along, such as putting myself in the best position for gravity to help the swimmers (articles say this doesn’t work) or being together more than 2x in that window (the doctor gave specific instructions NOT to have sex too often, wanting the swimmers to be strong so waiting 24 hours can help the build up).

We are both excited at the possibility of becoming pregnant. Here we could see two viable follicles that may both contain eggs that might possibly be met by swimmers. Could this be the week that the rest of our lives change?

It’s amazing to me that there is such a short window of time for one to become pregnant. Thinking about all the people who become pregnant without planning, it’s fascinating to me how this all happens.

Once the egg is released from the ovary, it lives for 12-24 hours. On top of that, it can take anywhere between 45 minutes and a couple hours for sperm to reach the fallopian tubes. This means, there needs to be sperm already in the fallopian tube region. But not just any sperm, they need to be strong so they need to be there within a few days prior.

Timing is everything, isn’t it!

The Big “O”

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Stay calm, serene, relaxed. do anything I can to avoid stress.

Waiting for a positive indication on the ovulation stick to affirm that my body is working and ready.

Day 12– a big ‘O’ starred at me. Taunting me.

Day 13- a big ‘O’ sat there on the screen. Unapologetic.

Day 14– error.

What? Something happened where I need to retest but have to wait a few hours to pee again. So I wait until the afternoon hours to retest, wondering if this will be the day that I see that blinking smiley face. Fearful that I won’t and even more fearful that I won’t ovulate this month.

I asked about The Shot. You know the one that you can get that will essentially jump start ovulation. My doctor hesitated a moment because she explained that since my day 14 is on a Sunday, we would have to wait until Day 15 and by that point, it may be too late. Ugh! What is up with the timing of all of this?! Everything has to be so precise- to the day.

It reminds me that this act of creating a baby IS a miracle and that our bodies are created to precision. There is no mistake in the way God has made us and no science more powerful than Gods will.

If He wants us to get pregnant, we will get pregnant. I do believe this. And with that- I will rest and relax into the process.

Day 14- afternoon- I retest and it’s still a big “O”. Really? I guess nothing about this process is going to be easy for us.

 Day 15– Call the doctors.
Onto the next step… another doctors appointment tomorrow to see what’s going on.

Double the Dose of Clomid

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Ok so I freaked out in a recent post because of my fear that I would have to wait more time than I already need to because I don’t have a natural period. Thankfully, two days after I completed the 10 days of Provera, I got a bleed. Short, one-day bleed that constitutes my day 1, wahoo!

Again, it’s the small things that I need to celebrate on this road and if it’s a bleed, I’ll take it. This is a sign that I have another month of hope for becoming pregnant and the fun can begin.

The OB wasn’t able to get me in for an ultrasound until day 4 and when they did, they did not see any signs of PCOs. What? I am pretty confused by this point as my ultrasound in 2016 clearly showed a string of pearl like visual in my ovaries. Not today.

I do not know what this means about my diagnosis and what I need to be doing for my health, but I am just trying to go with it. Trusting the doctors are the experts and possibly see this all the time, I am choosing to let go and be apart of the strategic process.

They did see the cyst again that appears to be next to my uterus and has not changed in size, so they are not concerned, so I won’t be concerned.

All clear to start round 2 of Clomid, doubling the dose, days 5-9 of my cycle! Praying for good healthy follicles to grow so we can get this show on the road!

Today I am hopeful.

Fallopian Tube Roto Rooter

/ Hilary / 4 Comments

I’m pretty sure my doctor thinks I’m nuts. I emailed her after my massage/energy healer experience (click here if you haven’t read about it) and asked what would need to take place for us to get a better look at my fallopian tubes to see if there is a blockage. She responded with the recommendation of a sono-hysterosalpingogram, also known as a FemVue.

I’ve had friends do this and although not the best way to visualize the procedure, it can be a roto rooter for the fallopian tubes- cleaning any obstructions out so eggs can travel more efficiently. recall how unpleasant of an experience this is, but I know it’s what we need to do.

We scheduled it for the following week and my husband was gracious to want to come and support me through the procedure.

After the typical pleasantries with the ultrasound lady, who I now feel I have a relationship with, the doctor entered the room. She explained what would take place and what we are hoping to see.

Using a catheter placed through the cervix into the uterus, she will shoot a mixture of saline and air contrast up my uterus and into each of the fallopian tubes. The mixture will produce so we can see it on the ultrasound monitor. If there are any issues, the bubbles will not flow smoothly and they will investigate to see what the issue may be.

This whole catheterization process is not the most comfortable (similar but more intense/invasive female exam) and as she begins to insert the mixture, it feels as though I am peeing myself (in a weird way).

She starts on the left— no issues there and the bubbles flow easily.

Onto the right—no bubbles. There seems to be a block of some sort. WHAT? She tries it again and it flows much better. She looks at me and says: “looks like there was a small block of tissue or something on your right fallopian tube, but we were able to get it out with the force of the saline this second time and now it’s clear!”

There seems to be a block of some sort. Oh my gosh… WHAT?

She tries it again and it flows much better. She looks at me and says: “looks like there was a small block of tissue or something on your right fallopian tube, but we were able to get it out with the force of the saline this second time and now it’s clear!”

She looks at me and says: “looks like there was a small block of tissue or something on your right fallopian tube, but we were able to get it out with the force of the saline this second time and now it’s clear!”

I am amazed at this point. The massage/healer lady was right?

What would have happened if I didn’t go to this massage lady? The doctors weren’t planning to check for anything until after a few more rounds of Clomid, meaning 2-4 more months of trying and waiting.

Is it possible that God used this massage lady to speak to me about my body?

I take this encounter as a God-wink and am excited to know my fallopian tubes are now ready for action!

The rest of the afternoon was not pleasant as I felt major cramping, as the doctor said I would. The only position that felt good was on my side on the couch.

My husband felt horrible that I was in such pain and I only know this is the first of what’s to come with all the body changes that occur when growing a baby. I’m grateful to have him by my side through the pain and discomfort.