May | 2021 | Hilary Maxwell

Today is day 5 of medications.

I feel the difference this time around. My abdominal area is already feeling ‘tight’ and a bit crampy. I know there is growth already going on in there and I am hopeful that today’s appointment will reveal a positive response to the increased medication.

I look at today’s appointment as “The scary day 5 monitoring appointment”.

In the previous 2 IVF cycles, this is the day that I go in for blood work and an ultrasound and the technician remains quiet.

A few hours later, I would get a call from my medical team sharing that the doctor is not impressed with the ultrasound results and need to up the dose of medication. For both cycles, this put me back 2+ days of follicle growth, extending the days I was on medication.

I’m hoping for a different outcome today.

The ladies at the clinic were lovely and I ended up asking for more information about what they were seeing.

The lady performing the ultrasound shared that she is counting 22 follicles, one that is measuring a bit larger than the rest.

Way to go little one!

I leave feeling good about the report so far and wait to hear from Nurse Emily.

A headache kicks in.

It must be the higher medications I’m on.

I can’t nap. There must be something wrong with me- I’m known to my friends as a Champion Napper.

The call comes in. Nurse Emily reports that everything looks good. Nothing negative and to remain at the current dose of meds.

A glimmer of hope.

A different report then what I’m used to.

Maybe this round will produce a different outcome.

I learn that day 5 of my last IVF cycle counted 17 follicles and we all know how that turned out.

She assured me that I’m on the right track and just to continue progressing as I have.

No increase in medication, thankfully!

And there probably won’t be an increase since I’m on the highest dose.

No wonder my body is already feeling out of sorts.

I lay down, close my eyes, thank God for the follicles that are growing and pray for the strength to move through today with a positive outlook amidst the pounding tension that grips my forehead.

Gonal F: 375 IU

Menopur: 225 IU

The green light has been given to start medications. This time around, Dr. Brahma has me starting on a much higher dose and although I’m excited by the change in hopes of having a major increase in egg follicles, I’m also nervous of a negative response to such a high amount of hormones entering my body.

Will I sleep well? Will my body feel like I’m carrying around bowling balls? Will I be able to be present with Little Princess while accepting these doses into my body?

Only time will tell.

That time starts tonight!

An image has come into my head as I pause to think about what’s about to occur.

I have just slipped on those little white slipper-shoes that have a soft bottom and I stand on the edge of a cliff with my right foot stretching out for the rope. I put my arms out in a straight line and with my heart pounding, I point my toes on my right foot.

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What am I to look at? I know I can’t look down or I will begin to wobble.

I know I can’t look around to the left or the right because I will teeter in that direction.

Instead, I lift my chin with intention and focus on what is directly in front of me.

What I see is a beautiful sunrise bursting through the clouds.

Confidently, I lean my weight onto my right foot.

Let the faith walk begin.

Treatment: Tonight, I will do the first shots into my abdomen and will continue with this for 4 days before I return for my second ultrasound and bloodwork check in.

MAJOR DOSE INCREASE!

Gonal F- 375 IU

Menopur- 225 IU