7:30am, I arrive at Shady Grove Fertility, Atlanta ready to release these precious follicles to the care of my medical team.
I was the first patient this morning so everything went incredibly smooth.
Hubby was not able to come because of the COVID restrictions, so I asked God to be with me as I walked down the familiar hall and into the intriguing door on the left marked “IVF Suite” I had seen so many times in the days prior.
I undressed and weighed myself, put on my hair net and booties and nestled into the medical bed that was draped with a thick white blanket.
Within a matter of 15 minutes, I had met my nurse, the doctor performing the retrieval and my anesthesiologist.
I signed, dated paperwork and got the deep poke of an IV into my left-hand vein.
Wheeled on the gurney down the chilly, white walled hallway into the OR room where I felt only cold air surround my vulnerable body.
Looking over at the all too familiar retrieval table, flashbacks for my first retrieval came to mind.
Fear of that exposed space, I asked God for a lot of help and support as I stood up and shuffled ever so gently over to the table, with my IV in tow.
The table was long enough for the trunk of my body and my head. I had to sit at the very edge (almost as though I was falling off) and lay back. I then lifted my legs into two platform like cushions, and although comfortable in theory, incredibly unguarded and exposing.
I was grateful for the warm, white blanket that comforted me and covered the top part of my body until the burning anesthesia entered my veins.
I was out.
As I came to, I was back in the recovery room, foggy in thought and yet comfortable.
I learned that from the estimated 16 follicles, 10 eggs were retrieved.
I began to cry with sadness.
“Will that be enough?”, I feared.
I am so sad, my heart drops.
“What if we are not able to have a viable embryo from these 10?”
The first retrieval 20 eggs were retrieved.
My heart feels heavy.
I am so scared.
I just want to have another baby. What does this mean for us?
Hubby is not there to hold my hand. Tears run down my face. I feel so defeated.
I try and turn my thoughts to the positive because there is a lot that can happen with 10 eggs.
I just want to go home, to my real home.
I will have to settle for my in-laws house and am glad that all I need to do is rest and recover for the rest of the day.
What am I grateful for? I have to shift my mind.
- Grateful to not be as sore as I was the first time around.
- Grateful to have been given this chance in the first place.
- Grateful my body responded with these eggs.
Sleep, water, Tylenol.
We will wait the phone call that will come tomorrow from nurse Emily where we will learn how many of the 10 were mature eggs and how many were successfully fertilized.
“Lord, I know you are in control.”
I know you know the desires of our hearts and I know this is an opportunity to trust you and have faith in what I cannot see.
The next day-
The phone rings at the perfect time.
It’s Nurse Emily and she is happy to report that out of the 10 eggs that were retrieved, 7 of them reached a mature size.
Not bad… I have to keep thinking and looking for the good in this.
“Hilary, this retrieval is different than the first, it’s not helpful to compare”.
Seven is wonderful, that means only three of the eggs were not large enough and that is a much better ratio than I had the first round.
Then she gave me this gift… all seven of those mature eggs fertilized!!
Wahoo! 100%, can’t get better than that.
With this news, we pack up our bags and head to the airport. It’s time to head home and begin the recovery week… and more waiting.