Wanting vs. Enjoying

I don’t know if it’s a blessing that I got my period, or now a curse. I can tell I am fighting off the very thing I didn’t want to become consumed by, counting days, checking ovulation, wondering if this is the month we’ll become pregnant.

My husband and I talked about keeping expectations low and I really liked the thought of that… but they keep creeping up and up… will this be the month? Could we actually get pregnant? I even have the thought, “I don’t want to wait another month to try again”.

I laugh at this last thought because I see how normal I am, with other women who are ready for a baby and try for months on end… or years. Month after month, wondering if this is the month. Hopeful with anticipation and then disappointed and sad when the next period comes.

I know, I’m way too far into the future with my thoughts and that is what I need to remind myself of today.

STAY IN THE DAY.

Today.

Not only stay in this present moment, but to also look at the things I have to be grateful for in this moment.

The list consists of:

  • the opportunity to take naps when I want to
  • enjoy a full night’s rest
  • be able to go out on a date night without having to find/pay for a babysitter
  • go skiing for the full day (together)
  • make my schedule around things I would like to do

Although selfish, I can see there is a time and space for this type of lifestyle and once kids come along, all this changes.

I remember having the same thoughts of yearning when I was single, wanting so much to meet my husband. I would write a list of things I was grateful for that I would have in this season… knowing that once I met him, all would change.

Similar with kids. Life as we know it will change and we won’t have this same life again and so it’s important for me to cherish what we have today and embracing each experience we have in this season because once it changes, it changes.

Granted, the change to marriage and the change to having children are wonderful and beautiful with so much richness and growth… and I love how life is always changing. As long as I learn how to enjoy the season of life that I’m in, knowing it will change.

The present. This exact moment, and this exact day is exactly where God wants me to be.

So as we journey through this week, I surrender my desires to God and trust in the plan and timing God has for us to grow our family while practicing gratitude and thanksgiving.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. –Philippians 4:6 NIV

The Place We Call Home

photo-1464146072230-91cabc968266I love driving around neighborhoods to see the different houses. The architecture, the colors, the landscape while imagining what the inside must be like. Recently, I have become familiar with Houz, a Pinterest type for homes showing pictures of all areas of a home including the materials used in the pictures (paint type/color, etc.). It gives me insights into the various tastes and home decorating ideas people are drawn to today.

When we were looking for a house, we toured in and out of multiple houses all that had individual characteristics and facets that made them unique. Once settling on our house, we began changing the inside to match our personalities and to decorate the walls with our ideas. It has been a huge undertaking, and little by slow this house built in the 1950’s has grown into the place we call home.

So what makes a house (a foundation, walls, a roof) a home?

It is the personalized touches that demonstrate the personalities of the people who live there. The scented candles, the colors on the wall, the pictures of special moments, the ‘life’ within the house. The serene space I come back to after a full day of being ‘out there’ in the world of work, interactions and discomfort. A space that is welcoming to others and remains a consistent place of safety.

At the deeper level, I feel a home is where I can refuel my soul, and work on anything that I need to repair in my thoughts, behaviors or emotions. My home is the place where I can build my life.

Build your life on the firm foundation of true gratitude to God for all His blessings and true humility because of your unworthiness of these blessings. Build your frame of your life out of self-discipline; not allowing yourself to become lazy or selfish or contented with yourself. Build the walls of your life out of service to others, helping them find their way in life. Build your roof out of prayer and quiet times, waiting for God’s guidance from above. Build the garden around your life out of peace of mind and serenity and a sure faith. -Twenty-Four Hours A Day

Intentionality

How often to I protect my home from the outside world of negativity, busy-ness, materialism, jealousy…? I must admit, it’s a practice to clear my mind and habits of ‘junk’ and let my day go when I return home. What motivates me is a desire for a safe-haven. A place to retreat to from the world, and a place to find solace in the midst of productivity and the ‘going’ pace around me. Intentionally leaving my work at my work and praying for God to come make this place one of rejuvenation.

What are some ways you have made your house, a home?