Double the Dose of Clomid

September 15, 2017August 6, 2017 / Hilary / 4 Comments

Ok so I freaked out in a recent post because of my fear that I would have to wait more time than I already need to because I don’t have a natural period. Thankfully, two days after I completed the 10 days of Provera, I got a bleed. Short, one-day bleed that constitutes my day 1, wahoo!

Again, it’s the small things that I need to celebrate on this road and if it’s a bleed, I’ll take it. This is a sign that I have another month of hope for becoming pregnant and the fun can begin.

The OB wasn’t able to get me in for an ultrasound until day 4 and when they did, they did not see any signs of PCOs. What? I am pretty confused by this point as my ultrasound in 2016 clearly showed a string of pearl like visual in my ovaries. Not today.

I do not know what this means about my diagnosis and what I need to be doing for my health, but I am just trying to go with it. Trusting the doctors are the experts and possibly see this all the time, I am choosing to let go and be apart of the strategic process.

They did see the cyst again that appears to be next to my uterus and has not changed in size, so they are not concerned, so I won’t be concerned.

All clear to start round 2 of Clomid, doubling the dose, days 5-9 of my cycle! Praying for good healthy follicles to grow so we can get this show on the road!

Today I am hopeful.

Fallopian Tube Roto Rooter

September 14, 2017August 7, 2017 / Hilary / 4 Comments

I’m pretty sure my doctor thinks I’m nuts. I emailed her after my massage/energy healer experience (click here if you haven’t read about it) and asked what would need to take place for us to get a better look at my fallopian tubes to see if there is a blockage. She responded with the recommendation of a sono-hysterosalpingogram, also known as a FemVue.

I’ve had friends do this and although not the best way to visualize the procedure, it can be a roto rooter for the fallopian tubes- cleaning any obstructions out so eggs can travel more efficiently. recall how unpleasant of an experience this is, but I know it’s what we need to do.

We scheduled it for the following week and my husband was gracious to want to come and support me through the procedure.

After the typical pleasantries with the ultrasound lady, who I now feel I have a relationship with, the doctor entered the room. She explained what would take place and what we are hoping to see.

Using a catheter placed through the cervix into the uterus, she will shoot a mixture of saline and air contrast up my uterus and into each of the fallopian tubes. The mixture will produce so we can see it on the ultrasound monitor. If there are any issues, the bubbles will not flow smoothly and they will investigate to see what the issue may be.

This whole catheterization process is not the most comfortable (similar but more intense/invasive female exam) and as she begins to insert the mixture, it feels as though I am peeing myself (in a weird way).

She starts on the left— no issues there and the bubbles flow easily.

Onto the right—no bubbles. There seems to be a block of some sort. WHAT? She tries it again and it flows much better. She looks at me and says: “looks like there was a small block of tissue or something on your right fallopian tube, but we were able to get it out with the force of the saline this second time and now it’s clear!”

There seems to be a block of some sort. Oh my gosh… WHAT?

She tries it again and it flows much better. She looks at me and says: “looks like there was a small block of tissue or something on your right fallopian tube, but we were able to get it out with the force of the saline this second time and now it’s clear!”

She looks at me and says: “looks like there was a small block of tissue or something on your right fallopian tube, but we were able to get it out with the force of the saline this second time and now it’s clear!”

I am amazed at this point. The massage/healer lady was right?

What would have happened if I didn’t go to this massage lady? The doctors weren’t planning to check for anything until after a few more rounds of Clomid, meaning 2-4 more months of trying and waiting.

Is it possible that God used this massage lady to speak to me about my body?

I take this encounter as a God-wink and am excited to know my fallopian tubes are now ready for action!

The rest of the afternoon was not pleasant as I felt major cramping, as the doctor said I would. The only position that felt good was on my side on the couch.

My husband felt horrible that I was in such pain and I only know this is the first of what’s to come with all the body changes that occur when growing a baby. I’m grateful to have him by my side through the pain and discomfort.

Possible Blockage?

September 2, 2017 / Hilary / 1 Comment

Could it be that I have a blockage in my right ovary?

Curious question for my massage therapist to ask me as I was lying face down on the table. She had just begun my deep tissue massage and after asking a few questions as to what brought me in, picked up on the fact that we are trying to become pregnant.

I welcome any feedback from body workers as well as doctors but this question came as a surprise. I noticed she had paused over my lower back area and was still.

“Has my right ovary experienced any trauma in the past, such as a miscarriage or something else?”- she asked.

“No, not that I know of.”- I replied.

She continued with the massage and at the end, I asked her to explain more.

Clarifying that she is not a doctor, she mentioned she could just sense that there may have been some damage caused by trauma or possibly something I was born with that is causing my right ovary to be weak and potentially blocked.

The left is strong and feels to be working well, but she suggested that before we pour money into any major fertility endeavors it may be something for my doctor to look into.

I left with a little skepticism mixed with curiosity. Could a blockage be part of the issue? I was determined to find out.

Back on BC

May 19, 2017 / Hilary / Leave a comment

Two weeks ago, I met my OBGYN doctor for the first time. She was absolutely…

Serious.

Not a lot of ‘bedside manner’. She spoke from experience with numerous facts about the successful pregnancies she’s experienced with other patients with PCOS. I immediately felt comfortable with her expertise and assurance that we would most-likely become pregnant.

Before we began talking logistics, I shared with her the results of my husband’s ‘swimmers’. Not only was she impressed with how good they look (nice job Honey), but also that we had this test completed prior to my appointment with her.

Note to others: get hubby checked prior to fertility consult. Hubby wasn’t at all thrilled with the idea of having to provide a sample, but I reminded him of how many times I have to put my feet in those straps to posture vulnerable to doctors and nurses… one sample can’t compare. Looking for a place? He went through Conceptions.

After about 20 minutes of discussing with my new friend the OB Dr., we had a plan.

Step 1: I am to start on birth control in order to force my body into having a period.
Step 2: On the day of my first true bleed (not just spotting), I am to contact OB Dr. to get a prescription of Clomid.
Step 3: On days 3-8 I am to take Clomid.
Step 4: On days 10-20ish? I am to pee on Ovulation sticks
Goal: To ovulate.

If I don’t ovulate, they will increase the dosage of Clomid for the next month. If I do ovulate, have at it and pray for pregnancy.

With a thin uterine lining, it may be necessary for me to return to those sticky estrogen patches (ick!). She said Clomid thins out the uterine lining even more… so that may be a necessity. Praying for God to do miracles!

We will to this for 6 months, which at that point if not pregnant, she will refer me to a Fertility specialist. Come on God!

One caveat to the Clomid is we must be prepared for the potential of twins (eek! ok I’m actually super excited about that idea). She said it’s about a 10% chance that we would have twins. After a little hesitation, we agreed that two babies is better than none and would gratefully welcome twins into our family.

So back onto birth control I am, with my emotions all over the place, my face breaking out with all sorts of acne, my boobs ever so sore, and what feels like 100lbs of weight gain (only a few pounds) that feels like water weight/bloatedness, ick. Not to mention I am crying A LOT… uncontrollable sobbing, Niagra falls of tears rushing down my face.

Not the most fun past few weeks as it feels like I’m experiencing one BIG cycle to make up for all those I have missed. Yet, I am open to anything and reminding me it’s a temporary discomfort.

This weekend, I went to my nephews 1st birthday party. It was adorable to see all the new babies amidst the older siblings playing in the jumpy-set.

A high school friend was there with her husband and twin 11-week old babies. They were absolutely precious and it was such a gift to talk with them. Their journey to these babies has been long and emotional as well. She too has PCOS and shared some wonderful tidbits of what she learned along the way.

I love how openly people are willing and able to speak about their own journey to growing a family and understand the power in sharing.

My desire is for more people share, to give hope and experience while offering an ear to simply listen. The longing for something in life that cannot be controlled is universal. Desiring to meet your life partner, wanting so badly to grow a family, praying for the health of a loved one… these heart’s desires that can’t be fulfilled by ‘willing’ anything to happen.

It’s the practice of patience, trust, and gratitude for what is here now.

I feel like I’m a broken record in all my writing, in all my thinking. I know in my head what is the ‘right’ posture as I journey through my days, yet I let my negativity and dissatisfaction of aspects of my life shadow the beauty.

Caring too much? Thinking too much? Possibly.

My prayer is that through these next few months… (ok, I’ll start off small)… through this week, I can take my hands off the steering wheel and when I begin to worry or wonder how things will work out, I will instead pray for the miracle of life/lives to begin inside and for my womb to become a safe, healthy place for it/them to grow.

(ok, I’ll start off small)… through this week, I can take my hands off the steering wheel and when I begin to worry or wonder how things will work out, I will instead pray for the miracle of life/lives to begin inside and for my womb to become a safe, healthy place for it/them to grow.

I can take my hands off the steering wheel and when I begin to worry or wonder how things will work out, I will instead pray for the miracle of life/lives to begin inside and for my womb to become a safe, healthy place for it/them to grow.