We were so pleased with our experience with Shady Grove Fertility with our first baby that we decided to use them again. The one bonus we have found about Shady Grove is they offer the Shared Risk Program for those who qualify. Meaning, we pay a little extra and we enter into a shared risk agreement where we will have up to 6 IVF cycles for the price of 1 (minus the cost of medications) and if after 6 we do not have a healthy, cooing baby leaving the hospital, we can be refunded our program payment.

It brings us ease knowing we can get our money back and use it for adoption if we need to.

We really loved Dr. O’Brien in the Maryland office and would have gone with her again but traveling to Maryland and staying at an Airbnb with a toddler doesn’t sound as easy as it was the first time around.

Instead, we were able to be connected to the Shady Grove Fertility office in Atlanta, Georgia which is conveniently 20 minutes from my in-law’s house. So, we will get comfortable in the basement space they have created for our family and embark on this IVF adventure with hope, excitement, and a little fear.

Today is cycle day 3 and I just returned from my first appointment where they established my baseline ultrasound and blood work. Dr. Brahma will be overseeing my care and my nurse Emily is a gem. Ironically, she just moved back from Colorado to Georgia to be close to her family. It’s nice to have those connections.

I walked into the office and although it’s under the same name and logo, this office felt different. I have a bit more fear this time. My head is full of ‘what ifs?” and I feel myself clenching onto the hope of a second child. My hands in fists and my feet ready to stomp as if to say, ‘but I want another one’.

I recognize that I am full of fear.

I trusted Dr. O’Brien and she recommended Dr. Brahma to us. It is the slight differences that are throwing me off.

This medical protocol has me starting on day 2 with the ultrasound and bloodwork and on day 3 of my cycle. The first IVF cycle had my ultrasound and bloodwork on day -2 and started medications on day 1 of my cycle. I am praying for the peace to turn off my comparison and trust that there are multiple ways to the same means and this is just my opportunity to experience another way.

Here are a list of my fears:

• That there will be something on the baseline ultrasound that will prevent us from moving forward with IVF and we will have to stop this altogether
• That we won’t get any follicles growing
• That we won’t get any mature follicles during the retrieval
• That the sperm and the eggs won’t play nice and only a few will inseminate
• That come to day 5 of the cell growth, we won’t have any that are healthy and dividing well
• If we do have a healthy cell dividing ball that the chromosomes will come back incomplete and they will recommend we not move forward
• That we will be left without a baby at the end of this second attempt

I read back over my IVF journey #1 in 2018 and I see that I had the same fears. God, help me trust that you have brought us to this point, with peace in my heart, and that you will walk us through this.

As laughable as it may seem, what brought me a bit of relief was the fact that the waiting room had ‘This Old House’ playing on the television, the same as the office in Maryland.

Thanks for the wink God, I know you are here with me.

The ultrasound and bloodwork came back all clear and ready to begin! A sigh of relief comes over me. Thank you, God.

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Treatment: Tonight, I will do the first shots into my abdomen and will continue with this for 4 days before I return for my second ultrasound and bloodwork check-in.

Gonal F- 225 IU
Menopur- 75 IU