Sunday: This morning we left Denver on our 36-hour jaunt to Maryland to pick up Maxee and bring it home. Although we haven’t discussed names, choosing a nickname has been hard! I like the playful spin-off our last name with “Coffee Bean”, but we land on Maxee.
On the plane, I sat next to a delightful man from Boulder who is flying to DC for a national science convention when he asked where I was going, I shared about our fertility journey and how excited and hopeful we are for this weekend. I love being able to embrace this story and see the joy and magnificence this brings as the combination of nature, God, and science.
Our night is spent celebrating little Maxee (living in the petri dish at Shady Grove clinic) by eating a delicious meal at Wildfire restaurant at Tyson’s Corner.
We know it’s not a guarantee this will end with a beautiful baby in our arms, but we are grateful for this opportunity.
Tomorrow we get to reunite with our little one.
This is the closest we have come to being pregnant, and are enjoying every moment.
Monday: 10am: I am receiving my final acupuncture before the transfer. Sitting under the heat lamp, my body is preparing for the transfer.
11:15am: Here I am, sitting on the cream couch, with Property Brothers playing on the flat screen in the background. I am sitting, after just emptying my bladder and refilling it with exactly 16oz of water… Waiting.
I get to take my embybaby (Maxee) home today and it gets to be and grow inside of me until it’s ready to come out. My prayer is that in the next 9-10 months I am able to pour every ounce of love, prayer, hope, confidence, and health into this little one. My heart is happy to be sitting here and a little nervous.
- What will the procedure feel like?
- How will I feel after?
I can’t believe this is as close as we have been to have our own baby!
- What will it be like to be pregnant?
- How will I feel?
- What will the next few weeks mean for me?
So many unknowns.
My stomach is a little crampy but mostly calm.
I am 45 minutes away from being semi-pregnant!
At what point does one become pregnant?
- Is it a successful transfer?
- A successful nesting or implantation?
- It is it with the results of the pregnancy test in two weeks?
I have been praying for a healthy womb, for a clear space to call home.
Free of any negative energy and in its place a positive, healthy home that will encourage and support little Maxee.
“Hilary Maxwell”… it’s time to go!
12 noon: we are called back to the room.
12:20: Dr. O’Brien welcomes us, shares the news that our one embryo is in the incubator and thawed out perfectly. She shares that the 2nd embryo with the genetic mismatch had an extra chromosome 3 (meaning either Hubby or I contributed 14 instead of 13 chromosomes, making this particular embryo not viable.)
Joining her are 2 nurses. One nurse squirts the ultrasound jelly on my stomach and pushes the monitoring wand on my bladder (yup, cavity full!) and the second nurse asks me to confirm my name, date of birth, and social security number before she confirms the one embryo with me and Dr. O and then leaves the room.
Dr. O is a delight and we engage in small talk about what’s about to happen as she inserts the catheter into place (yup, that’s an uncomfortable pinch).
Hubby pulls out his phone and begins to film what we see on the large screen tv plastered on the wall.
Our second nurse is in the lab next to us and has taken control of the TV screen. Before us, blown up, is the petri dish with a couple of air bubbles and this round thing with a cluster of little circles inside… that’s our Maxee, 5 days ‘old’.
12:26pm: Nurse draws the liquid and embryo into a syringe type and enters into our room. She and Dr. O exchange a specific protocol for transferring the syringe filled with liquid and our embryo. It reminds me of when I used to rock climb and the belayer and climber had to exchange a control check before the climber proceeded to climb.
“On belay, belay on, climbing, climb on”.
Dr. O wiggles the already inserted catheter so we can see it on the screen (and yes, I can feel it) and then proceeds to insert the filled-syringe into the catheter and in a matter of seconds we see a white blurb… our embryo on the screen shoot out from the catheter. It lands just where Dr. O wanted and it’s been a successful transfer. (Hubby gets it all on film!)
12:30pm: Maxee is with me!
I continue to lay there with a drape over me as Dr. O spends 15 more minutes with us answering our questions and unknowingly validating our decision to work with her.
I am scared to use my stomach muscles to sit up and even more scared to stand up, let alone go to the bathroom.
What if Maxee falls out of me?
I am assured Maxee won’t and begin to dress.
Our discharge nurse helps us to know exactly where the progesterone shots are to occur on my backside (we were just a ‘little’ off) and I head for my final acupuncture appointment to help the blood flow before we head to the airport.
Dr. O did not prescribe bedrest, just casual walking, and no heavy lifting or intense working out for 2 weeks.
We asked about skiing. She was hesitant to answer and her worry is more about if I am hit by someone else on the mountain. Although she said no, she also said it really depends on how crowded the mountain and the likelihood of me getting into a tumble.
I don’t know what my answer will be for myself, but for now, the answer is no as I let Maxee get situated.
7:30pm: I can’t believe I am sitting here on the airplane back to Denver, with a little embryo growing inside of me.
I know how fast the cells multiplied in those 5 days after fertilization and can only imagine what is happening inside of me right now.
Dr. O said implantation can occur in 36 hours and there is no way of truly feeling it happening. She even debunked the thought of implantation bleeding, although might be slight, the bleeding people experience is at times a few days after the implantation. Since I’m on both estrogen and progesterone the likelihood of any bleeding is slim to none, so I know not to be looking for anything as a sign this week.
Hubby called me ‘mommy’ for the first time today, I like how that sounds.
Although I feel excited by the opportunity and possibility, I am also very aware that this little one may not take and we might not be pregnant.
It’s a 70% chance of pregnancy at this point… that still leaves 30%. So I am going to keep things mellow for my body this week, eat warm foods, drink warm water to give Maxee a wonderful environment to enjoy and get a lot of rest.
Tonight, we get to bring our Maxee home and pray that it sticks to become a viable pregnancy. We still hold our breath until we have a positive pregnancy test.
The 2-week wait (2WW) begins.