Crunching Numbers

images.jpgComparing prices between the various fertility specialists in the area.

What will be the best route for us to take?

Trying to get the best care for the right price is time-consuming. My old self would have just gone with the most reputable name in town and said yes to all their recommendations for testing with them.

After doing some additional research though, I can see that if I do some testing out of a different lab, we can save some money.

At one place a test can be $250 at another it can be $100. How can these tests be the same but be marked up so much? Are these prices founded on anything in particular?

We are essentially self-pay as we don’t have insurance. Instead, we are a part of a healthcare sharing group, co-op type, Christian Healthcare Ministries. It’s pretty cool that this is available, especially for people who are relatively healthy. Downside: it doesn’t cover fertility treatments. If we received insurance through my work or Hubby’s work, we wouldn’t have fertility coverage so we are surrendered to being self-pay. With that comes certain discounts, if you ask, which helps a little.

Gosh, it can be expensive though.

…God, I trust you.

It’s hard for me not to get upset and resentful towards those who are able to get pregnant without having to pay. Where it just happens naturally.

But I don’t go there with my thoughts. I am grateful for the medical studies that give us these options. In previous generations, we would just have to accept our childless family. At least we have these options today and for that, I feel blessed with the opportunity to walk down this path.

I do believe that God provides what we need and it’s all a matter of how we allocate the resources He gives. I pray that we are good stewards of His gifts and that we will continue to seek guidance as to which way to go and what steps to take.

Today, I am gathering information so that we can make a decision-based in facts, mixed with faith.

There is a twinge of impatience stirring inside. I don’t want to have to wait on doing all these procedures and tests before we get this next round of medication rolling. I feel anxious about waiting as I am getting caught up in the timing of when we would start vs. when the potential baby would be due. I am hung up on certain dates and seasons that I want to avoid.

Honesty moment

We already have multiple family birthdays in December, plus Christmas and New Years that I don’t want to have a baby during the holidays.

I know I know, I shouldn’t be picky. But if I get to ‘choose’ when to start this medication that will potentially enable us to become pregnant than I feel I have a little control over this.

I laugh because that’s what I said last June when we started the fertility treatments, not wanting to get pregnant to be due during certain months… and look where we are now, not pregnant.

What have I learned, that I can’t control even when I think I have a little say in what happens. I don’t. I like to pretend that I do. Maybe I do, but do I want my will of what I think I want in the timing I think I want it to be, or do I want what God wants for me? It may be harder to live by faith, but there is more peace.

God, I surrender this to you too.

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