The day of waiting has officially come to an end! I have been on birth control for the past 2 weeks and I am ready for this little pill to leave my system. I have been experiencing the most restless nights and heightened anger. I feel horrible for Hubby who has become a punching bag for my emotions. Thankfully I have been able to explain to him that I’m not actually angry and I don’t have anything to really be angry about, it’s just these darn hormones.
Note to self: next time I’m prescribed birth control, ask to be on the low dose that doesn’t have this same effect on my body.
(We received a huge box of medications, needles, dispense bucket, ice to keep things cool…and this doesn’t include the refills they have on hold for us)
Today I spent the majority of the afternoon writing. I can see my fears and areas where my ego and pride have taken over my decisions. It’s time for me to start a new with this next adventure. I decide to step away from the responsibilities in my life that are not serving me at this current time. This has been a difficult realization as all the things I have going on in my life are ‘good’, but I want to have babies so I’m willing to give up the good for the great.
This is a painful realization but a freeing process.
I get to create space and time back in my life for what is my main priority at this time. Family.
Baseline Ultrasound and blood work.
I stopped the birth control yesterday and woke up this morning hoping for a bleed.
Nothing.
A little panicked, yes, but I’m not going to let it get me down.
Today is the day I’ve been waiting for.
I get to go in and have my baseline ultrasound and blood work!
Since we decided to go with a clinic out of state, I am needing to go to a fertility clinic here in Denver that will do ‘Outside Monitoring’.
I choose Conceptions because they give the best rate for the service that is required.
We still need to pay a start-up fee of $250 to become a patient in their system, but hopefully, the monitoring will be worth it.
Bright and early Monday morning, I arrive with eager in my step and hesitation in my mind.
What if they find something on the ultrasound that causes us to push the pause button on this whole shebang and have to wait until next cycle? I’ve heard it happen before.
I spend the car ride praying for Gods will to be done and for my heart to align with His desires.
Small poke and the blood is drawn.
I head upstairs to the monitoring area and am quickly taken back for the assessment.
Within 10 minutes, I’m skipping out the door. All looks clear and ready to roll.
That afternoon, I begin my period.
Praise God, my body is working as it should at this point.
Around the same time, I get a call from Nurse C at Shady Grove, “ready to get this thing started?” she asks with a playful tone in her voice.
Beyond ready!
I am to begin on Wednesday night with 2 shots.
I am giddy!
Medication:
Gonal F- 75 IU
Menopur- 150 IU