DAY 1- After 20 minutes of watching tutorials, I’m ready to become my own nurse. The shots will be in my stomach area so Hubby is off the hook for sticking me.

He sits there and helps me figure it all out.

Why in the world do they leave this in the patient’s hands, I don’t know. I’m scared I’ll mess something up. I watch the videos again.

My doctor friends offered to come to show me how to do it. I should have taken them up on it.

I clean the area on my stomach, prep the shots by mixing and ticking the side of the syringe, like I see in the movies to get the air bubbles out, grab a little fat and stick it in there.

Two times each night for the next 10 days… here we go.

I have such compassion for my girlfriends who have gone through this process. One of my friend’s had to give herself shots for her entire pregnancy and a couple weeks after. My word, what a sacrifice for a little life.

I become sleepy about an hour after the shot and then I start burning up about 2 hours after the shot. Is this what hot flashes feel like?

I can’t get to bed fast enough.

Gonal F- 75 IU
Menopur- 150 IU

DAY 2 & 3- Much of the same routine. Thankfully, I don’t have many side effects throughout the daytime. Just feeling the heat at night, plus waking up in a puddle of sweat at night. No big deal, just disgusting!

I feel I have become a pro at this whole shot thing. Minus the fact that I used too much of the solvent to mix the powder which left my stomach a bit distended with extra liquid. I won’t be doing that again!

The acupuncture appointments have helped calm my nerves and I’m hoping they are helping with the follicle growth too.

Tomorrow I go in for my next monitoring appointment. I’m a little nervous as this will be the first time we see how my body is responding to the drugs. I’m praying there are multiple follicles and that my bloodwork looks positive.

I can’t do much more for myself at this point. Eating healthy, getting good sleep, slowing down, and calming my mind. God, you do the rest!

Gonal F- 75 IU
Menopur- 150 IU

(Hubby thought it would be fun to have a ‘shot’ party… )

DAY 4 & 5- Monitoring first thing in the morning so the labs have enough time to get the report 2 time zones over to the clinic. I have the rest of the morning to pray that all is well and that I’m exactly where I need to be at this stage in the process.

At 3pm, I receive a call from Shady Grove. All looks good! She did say something about my estrogen being 50 (incredibly low for day 4). I don’t know where it needs to be but she asked that I increase the Gonal F to 187IU and keep Menopur to 150IU. How in the world did they come up with the number 187? Feels strange to have such a random number but maybe it’s the precise science that makes IVF such a miracle worker?

Excited, I prepare the shots. I have 75IU left in one Gonal F shot so tonight I will give myself 3 shots just so I don’t waste the medication.

Babies are being delivered by my friends all around me and I am trying not to fall into the self-pity. “They didn’t have to do all this to have a baby”. I notice I am more sensitive to well-intentioned comments.

God, I know you are with us on this journey. I’ll keep surrendering my anxiety over to you. I am so grateful we get the opportunity to do this treatment. I know you are with us and I pray that I may accept what you have for us.

The shots will continue at this dose for 2 more days and then I’ll go in for another monitoring appointment on Monday morning.

Happy weekend!

Gonal F- 187 IU
Menopur- 150 IU